Fame to Reality

isn't it interesting to read blogs of famous people just writing about their lives like any other person. Sarah Dessen is one of my favorite authors and while i'm sitting her reading her blog, i feel like something isn't right. Sarah is explaining her everyday life...she's even talking about how she ahs to hurry because seh has to go make a salad! This makes me wonder, is she talking about her everyday life to make her fans feel like they know her personally or is this an advertising mechanism?

Accept.

I know it's been a while but I got caught up in life and didn't get a chance to slow down.


I've been working on this paper and it's on a virtual community...well.. this virtual community has actually become a hobby of mine. I enjoy reading it because it makes me feel better about my life... i mean worse about something but mostly it's a positive thing for me.
you're probably like what the heck is she talking about...well here it is: PrettyThin

i've learned that it's not proanorexia but it accepts those who are anorexic or bulimic and allows them to openly discuss basically anything they want including methods, diets, etc.

while i enjoy reading it because it makes me happy with my life and thankful that i dont have to worry about either of those eating disorders (yes, it sucks that they're probably alot tinier than me but i accept that), the bigger question is why are so many people against virtual communities like this?

is it because they thing it's hindering recovery?
if their eating disorders are part of who they are, they're never going to happy in their own skin (quite frankly...most people never are) so why do people try and force them into recovery? they clearly don't want to recover.

The eating disorder is in their eyes because they can never see themselves as beautiful...but why can't they? why can they not accept themselves for the way they are? and why do they believe that seeing bones are beautiful?

Just do it.

today, while i was helping plan a hunger banquet, i rediscovered this website that is welll awesomeee!!
the basic concept is that you can donate grains of rice by answering trivia questions correctly...the more correct answers, the more grains donated! how freaking simple is that!! GO HERE!

my question for today: why have i not been blessed with any ingenious ideas, such as this one, that will help the world!


check it outtt

its me again

Following along with the previous post i must say that through this experience, along with the other obstacles presented with a military institution, I've learned that its the people that you love the most and love you that are what get you through the lowest of lows. 

 

The main author of this blog, my girlfriend of more than 4 years, is the most amazing person i know. She has been everything to me. While i was going through my parents messy divorce 3 years ago, she was the one who held me up when i was ready to tap out. She gave me the reassurance that someone would always be there for me and that if i ever needed anything that i could call her. While many people say this, the difference between her and most people is that she meant it. When I would call at the most random times of day she would drop whatever she as doing and do everything in her power to help me. She brought me into her house many times when i simply needed to get away and without her i may not have made it through as well as i did. 

She started out as my best friend, and she always will be. But in the past 4 years she has ben everything to me. She has been my counselor, my mentor, my friend, someone to slap me in the face when i needed it, my girlfriend, my teacher, and most of all she has been my biggest supporter that has shown me more love and commitment than anyone else in my life. She is the most amazing person i know and has been one of the biggest parts of my life. 

Well i could ramble all day about how i feel about Prina but i doubt people want to hear that. I just thought that people should know just how amazing a person Prina is and the things that she does that no one knows about because that is what truly defines her. To anyone who reads this, Prina is an incredible person with some great thoughts to share so read them carefully for what the meaning beneath is. To you babe, you mean the most to me and i love you.

The Boyfriend Speaking Here

Well most people think that the life of an athlete is all pampered and fancy. Well im here to tell you its not!

Not sure how many baseball fans are out there but i play division 1 college baseball. My team has just cracked the top 25 on one poll and we have the chance to be great, and while most people think this is amazing and fun just think about all the work that goes into it. For the past seven months my team and I have done nothing but get ready for the most grueling 3 months of our lives. We worked harder than most people in the world can understand, 6 days a week every week for 7 months. This would all be fine and dandy if when the season started things got easier, but they don't. If anything they just get longer, tougher and more tiring that the previous seven months. The season means many hours cramped in a bus driving all over the south east united states trying to be the best that we can. It means staying in less than desirable hotels all the time and living out of a bag and a locker for 3 months all while trying to keep up with the academics and needing greater than a 3.0 gpa to keep my academic money. This is no easy task. It means no spring break, no time to go home to the family or your wonderful girlfriend. It means sleeping on a bus and waking up stiff and tired because you slept wrong.

Many people would then ask the logical question: why? Well unless you have played this wonderful game its really impossible to explain. Theres something that keeps you going, something that pushes you through those red eye flights from Hawaii to Charlotte, something that gives you the strength to be better than you thought you could and do more than you thought you could.

Its called the love of the game

when you have it you cant get rid of it and even when you try it somehow guides you back to the game and your right back doing what you know you enjoy doing.

Advise me. NOT.

This weekend my boyfriends daddy gave me relationship advice for like a solid hour...atleast. And today i was thinking about all of it and you know picking out the parts i like and laughing at the ridiculous parts and then i tried to remember how i had for his advice...oh guess what. I DIDNT! i may not be the greatest at thsis whole love thing but really? so why do people offer advice especially if you dont really ask for it? i mean sometimes its a good thing to hear different sides and opinions, but all in all, most decisions are personal decisions so why do they even bother? Do you think there are people out there that think their calling in life is to give advice? because i do believe that everyone has a calling in life...but really, giving advice? what if they someone thinks that their calling and really its not but they continue to give shitty advice. bahaha that kinda makes me chuckle because i would HATE to be a part of that persons life.

so i was trying to think of random questions today and i couldnt..so i asked the boy for some inspiration and he said: "the cow jumped over the moon". like really...a nursery rhyme is not inspiration...



unless you're me.
so what if a cow really jumped over the moon (ofcourse with a few scientific enhancements and maybe a very very springy trampoline?)....would that mean that scientists would have to make all nursery rhyme images real or that authors would have to write brand new nursery rhymes? would baby mobiles begin to get like scientific?? ooo would that make babies smarter? eh i doubt it.

and no boyfriend. green tea is not an inpiration.

Oh.

this weekend i had some girlfriend duties to fulfill. by that i mean, i spent almost all weekend with the boyfriends parents, brother, and stepsister at some baseball games. his parents are divorced and well... that makes these situations rather interesting. we try and laugh about it, but sometimes it's not too funny. Well, a baseball game with this family is never boring and i got to hear the he said she said from both the parents. it was a great experience let me tell you! Usually i really feed into their conversations because, lets be honest, i find it utterly hilarious. But this weekend, it was a little different. As i was listening to what the dad did to the mom and vice versa from each of them, i realized that even after almost 4 and half years of dating the same boy, this could happen to us. It was at that moment that i decided that i hate making decisions. Like getting married, how on earth will i ever decide if it's the right person? how do i know i'm making the right decision? i never want to put my children through what they put their children through. I don't want my poor decisions to alter their lives! now let's think about this, the decisions i make today are going to affect my unborn babies! that's so much pressure on just one person!

I guess that's why its called a decision...because you're accepting all the repercussions that you arent even aware of.

question of the day:
why did someone invent clothes that covered certain areas of our body?

Coming to Terms

So today i realize i ask alot of questions and i realize that theres a reason why i'm asking them, but i don't acknowledge that. I don't take the reason into consideration and quite frankly, on this blog, i don't even state the reason...maybe the answers to my questions will be easier to grasp if i consider my reason for questioning. Well, from now on, i'll tell you what's going on in my life and then i'll ask the question.

 Today i finished The Last Song by Nicholas Sparks. Well, it's being made into a movie and once you watch the movie, you can't read the book! it's just not the same. The book is amazing and i feel like it connects to everyone because everyone's had someone pass away in their life and it's never easy to understand or deal with. Anyways, while i'm reading the book, my mom ironically gets a phone call from our family friend and we get news that her mother-in-law has passed away due to cancer. I find it extremely ironic because that's exactly where i was in my book and then we get that phone call...and it was all really strange, but my family went to visit our family friend and spend a little time helping with whatever they needed. The next day, while on the phone with her best friend, my mom mentions to her that so and so's mother-in-law passed away and tells the story and then says yeah she passed away at 2pm and i'll never forget the words that came out of her mouth next. After listening to her best friends response, my mom said (and i'm dead serious), "yeah, so how do i get to that kitchen store?" I understand that they were probably talking about a kitchen store before my mom brought up the death but I was extremely taken back by how quickly the topic changed...and it made me think about how fast we move on and how somebody passing is hard but really its just another step in life.
Why do we have so many emotions that control our actions? Better yet, how do our emotions change so quickly? If i think about how i've reacted to different situations in my life, if i had slightly altered an emotion, i could be in a completely different place in life. That's an amazing thought. Emotions drive our personalities and basically every aspect of our lives.
Do you think that people actually embrace their emotions? whether it's in relation to death, love (which is a whole different story), happiness, joy, courage...do you think people just take the second to embrace the emotion before letting it consume our minds? Maybe i should try it...because i know i dont. My emotions consume my body faster than i can think. Maybe by embracing emotions we can control emotional reactions...actually i take that back. I think every reaction is, in some way, an emotional reaction. I need to continue to evaluate this...but i'll get back to you.

Sneak Attack

How many ways do people avoid pain everyday?
I would guess at least every minute somebody avoids a painful thought. A thought that brings back painful memories...you know how they sometimes creep up on you when you see something that reminds you of it...it being the memory ofcourse...it's like the memory is dropped into your head all of a sudden. you're hit when you're unprepared. I'm not sure how I feel about my memories sneaking up on me.
I can see it in my head...a little dark shadow sliding down a rope above my head and dropping into my mind.

Clearly, pain is something that is hard to avoid. You can't run from it because theres nowhere to run.

Pathway of Unity

If you walked in a straight line foreverrrr you'd go all the way around the world. how long do you think you could walk in a straight line before running into something...like a building or a tree? What if the world globally decided to make a straight pathway around the circumference and if you walked on that path you'd circle around the world forever...
would the path go over the ocean or under the ocean?...i'd say under...maybe like cable car type thing but a cable submarine? would that even work.

Wouldn't it be cool looking at this straight path in a outerspace?
I feel like since we're so technologically advanced, this would be possible. But considering that there have been so many people in this world, somebody's had this thought before. I wonder if they came up with a solution or proposed it? AH! What if the person before me that had this thought was somebody famous...hmm i'm thinking politically famous. somebody that could have done something to create this but didn't because they thought it was stupid... I think its an AWESOME idea. how long would it take? i'm thinking a couple of years...like 6?

i'll keep thinking about it.

p.s....every pathway would be different! because in america we use concrete to make roads and side walks, in irelend they use like stones...

ohh and i just reconsidered all of this...
you can't unify the whole world because not every country would be involved in this...

Trafficking.

Human Trafficking


Today I saw a white van pull up to a nail salon and literally herd about 30 Asian women out of the van and into the back door. Human trafficking has always been appalling to me...i never understood how people can treat other human beings like animals without having any remorse. But more importantly, do you believe that these people accept their fate and believe that being s slave is there calling in life just like we believe being a doctor or a lawyer is our calling in life?

do they believe they even have a calling in life? What do you think they think about? In my life, I think about clothes and school and my friends and my boyfriend and my family...but they're life is a lot more complicated with a lot more struggles.
I wish I could understand what runs through their minds.

Control.

What if there was a group of people that controlled the world. Like they are cnotrolling our brains and every event that happens in life is a set up for another evenet...what if every aspect of our every day lives is a pre-planned and crucial event! Terrorist attacks, sports wins and losses, successes and failures, and even car accidents. everything is planned.

what if somebody deletes this post because i'm giving away their secret.

I can imagine it now... a group (or one person) of people sitting in a control room looking at our lives through video cameras that are installed everywhere around the world (we just can't see them)...
creepy.

Curiosity.

Questions of the day:

1. why do we eat from our mouths and not our belly buttons?
2. why we walk on our feet but not on our hands?
3. why do we fall in love? or do we?
4. why do we drive on the right hand side and the rest of the world drives on the left? how did that happen?
5. why do we indent the first sentence of a paragraph?
6. why is the sky blue somedays and white others? or yellow? or red? or purple? or pink?

sometimes I wonder.

Curve Ball.

Why does everything in life hit you at once?
Yesterday I found out that the one part of my life that I thought was stable, wasn't. The rock that I lean on, crumbled. Now while he puts the pieces back together, I stand with shaky legs on an unstable surface.It's strange how life throws surprises at you. While I worry about who I'm going to lean on, I also have to worry about making sure he becomes whole again. What do you do when the ground gets pulled out from under you?
pray? distract yourself? sulk? personally, I prefer the latter statement, but I know that's really not an option.

The worst part is that even when life throws you this huge curve ball, you're not allowed to strike out and go sit down. Because as much as you think life is like a baseball game, it's not. Even when you strike out, you have to keep going. Even when you're thrown a curve ball, you have to keep trying. Even when you earn 3 strikes, you're life keeps going. You may forget which base you belong on. You may even lose you're team mates, but you're baseball game keeps going. You are destined to run those bases until the day you die. Sometimes you may run forwards. Sometimes you may run backwards. The point is, you're still running. 

Today, I struck out, ran backwards, and slid too short of a base, but I'm still playing this crazy game.

Not Original

there have been so many people in this world that at some point and time somebody has had the same thoughts as you. So technically, when you think your idea is NEW and AMAZING...you are wrong. Somebody has thought the same thing before...they may have never acted on it but they had the same thought.

isn't that weird...it's like you're thinking the same thing as someone maybe 30 years or 100 years before you were even alive. super creepy.

What if someone looked just like you? This whole Doppelganger thing gets me thinking...there are only so many different combinations of genes so at some point and time in history, someone looked almost identical to you.

Now that's some food for thought.

sometimes life takes you to strange places.
you don't know why you end up in a place but clearly there's a reason why you're there.
you meet people and you realize that they entered your life for a reason.

today i ended up at the mall. for a reason i honestly can't remember.
and i wandered aimlessly for about 30 minutes and finally walked into this store...a store i would never shop at.
the owner started talking to me and it's like he knew me better than i know myself right now. He read me like an open book.
It seemed like the only reason i ended up at the mall was to meet this man. a strange man i must say. This man attempted to give me insight to solve my life's problems. I left without saying thank you. I wish i had said thank you.

Why is life such a roller coaster ride? and each ride gets harder and harder to walk off of...at least in the same state as you began in .

how was a whole world of people created?
where did the first human come from? i don't understand...
and after that question is answered how come we all live in different places and speak different languages when technically we should all be related. we have to be.

Why you?
courage and honor.
Is that what you were in search of?
all I want is  for you to stay
all you want is to be courageous.
Did you think of everybody else in the world but me?
I hope you were right when you said you'd always be there.
How long?
you can't answer that
and that hurts the most.
Do you live on edge the same way I live on edge?
anticipating.

Why are hardships in life supposed to make you stronger?
Some days I just think about how hard life is. People die, people leave, sicknesses are diagnosed and pain boils inside of us. It builds and it builds and finally you can't take it anymore. You break down or you begin to feel apathetic. Pushing all feelings outside of you and blocking memories out of your mind. Is that my new found strength? Being able to block memories and forget that emotions exist? I don't really see that as a strength.

While reading an army wife's blog post called incoming she helped me realize that hardships for us are irrelevent compared to the hardships for those overseas fighting "our war"...i realize that but i still complain..why? why do i feel like the world is pulling me under when in reality i'm safe from all harm?

As I ran around with 8 million things to do, the real life difficulties trumped my academic stresses. I don't understand what new strength I'm supposed to gain from the hardships. I wish I knew because maybe I'd work harder to process the situation and accept the outcome rather than avoiding the situation all together.
I need an answer before I have to ask the question.

save

How many orphanages do you think there are in the world?
I'm thinking more than we can count.
let's say there are 4,000 and each orphanage has at least 30 kids.
that makes a minimum of 120,000 orphans.
it costs atleast 10,000 dollars a year for an orphanage to support one child.
What about an orphanage that doesn't get any donations?
What does that mean for the children?
No toys.
Little food.
No medical attention when necessary.
Poor education.
Short life.



Why was I blessed with so much in my life? Yes, my parents worked hard. But for some reason I live in a million dollar house while people live in houses the size of my bedroom. Why? Even if I donate money or time or toys or clothes, my life is still completely different than theirs. Never having to wonder when my next meal is or if I'll have clothes to wear. It's not fair. Why don't people realize how blessed they are? Why don't people understand that some people don't eat while we eat feasts? Why do I sleep in a bed while others sleep on a floor? Life's not fair. Things need to change.

Analyze.

Love is supposed to be a life changing event. It changes morals, mindset, and dreams. It flips your world upside down, but when does a person decide they've fallen in love? Is it when they begin to center their life around one person? It can't be that...some people never center their lives around the person they "love"...does that mean they aren't in love? What about people who start dating when they're around the age of 12...when are those two individuals "in love"?
Have you ever questioned your love for someone? You can live your life and go through the motions every day without analyzing your relationship, but one day you do it. You analyze it. You discover you're heart is hurting and your mind is confused. Every memory of that person comes flooding back to your mind and you can't help but break down. Sorting through the memories and remembering the significance of this person in your life determines the fate of your relationship. And this time the fate of your relationship is safe...but maybe it's only this time.

Why do people become vulnerable? What makes some individuals stronger than others? Is it because of the different obstacles that God places in front of them? Does that make an individual stronger? Or is that a myth...does it really make them weaker? Does love make you weak? Does absence really make the heart grow fonder? Because it seems like that's a bunch of nonsense. Why do people fall in love in the first place? What's the point?

And one question is followed by another...with no answers. 

Wander.

My name's Prina and I'm a freshman English major at Texas A&M. I plan on going to pre-dental but we'll see where that plan takes me. I love meeting new people and later thinking about how they have changed my life. My friends and I sometimes have intense, serious talks while other conversations are silly and irrelevant. With both cases, many curious questions are asked. Several times I wonder why I am in a certain location. What is the reason for my presence? Is it to impact my life or another person's life? Although many questions can be answered with a vague answer such as, "It's God's will...", in my mind, that answer doesn't suffice...I like to think deeper than that.