its me again

Following along with the previous post i must say that through this experience, along with the other obstacles presented with a military institution, I've learned that its the people that you love the most and love you that are what get you through the lowest of lows. 

 

The main author of this blog, my girlfriend of more than 4 years, is the most amazing person i know. She has been everything to me. While i was going through my parents messy divorce 3 years ago, she was the one who held me up when i was ready to tap out. She gave me the reassurance that someone would always be there for me and that if i ever needed anything that i could call her. While many people say this, the difference between her and most people is that she meant it. When I would call at the most random times of day she would drop whatever she as doing and do everything in her power to help me. She brought me into her house many times when i simply needed to get away and without her i may not have made it through as well as i did. 

She started out as my best friend, and she always will be. But in the past 4 years she has ben everything to me. She has been my counselor, my mentor, my friend, someone to slap me in the face when i needed it, my girlfriend, my teacher, and most of all she has been my biggest supporter that has shown me more love and commitment than anyone else in my life. She is the most amazing person i know and has been one of the biggest parts of my life. 

Well i could ramble all day about how i feel about Prina but i doubt people want to hear that. I just thought that people should know just how amazing a person Prina is and the things that she does that no one knows about because that is what truly defines her. To anyone who reads this, Prina is an incredible person with some great thoughts to share so read them carefully for what the meaning beneath is. To you babe, you mean the most to me and i love you.

The Boyfriend Speaking Here

Well most people think that the life of an athlete is all pampered and fancy. Well im here to tell you its not!

Not sure how many baseball fans are out there but i play division 1 college baseball. My team has just cracked the top 25 on one poll and we have the chance to be great, and while most people think this is amazing and fun just think about all the work that goes into it. For the past seven months my team and I have done nothing but get ready for the most grueling 3 months of our lives. We worked harder than most people in the world can understand, 6 days a week every week for 7 months. This would all be fine and dandy if when the season started things got easier, but they don't. If anything they just get longer, tougher and more tiring that the previous seven months. The season means many hours cramped in a bus driving all over the south east united states trying to be the best that we can. It means staying in less than desirable hotels all the time and living out of a bag and a locker for 3 months all while trying to keep up with the academics and needing greater than a 3.0 gpa to keep my academic money. This is no easy task. It means no spring break, no time to go home to the family or your wonderful girlfriend. It means sleeping on a bus and waking up stiff and tired because you slept wrong.

Many people would then ask the logical question: why? Well unless you have played this wonderful game its really impossible to explain. Theres something that keeps you going, something that pushes you through those red eye flights from Hawaii to Charlotte, something that gives you the strength to be better than you thought you could and do more than you thought you could.

Its called the love of the game

when you have it you cant get rid of it and even when you try it somehow guides you back to the game and your right back doing what you know you enjoy doing.

Advise me. NOT.

This weekend my boyfriends daddy gave me relationship advice for like a solid hour...atleast. And today i was thinking about all of it and you know picking out the parts i like and laughing at the ridiculous parts and then i tried to remember how i had for his advice...oh guess what. I DIDNT! i may not be the greatest at thsis whole love thing but really? so why do people offer advice especially if you dont really ask for it? i mean sometimes its a good thing to hear different sides and opinions, but all in all, most decisions are personal decisions so why do they even bother? Do you think there are people out there that think their calling in life is to give advice? because i do believe that everyone has a calling in life...but really, giving advice? what if they someone thinks that their calling and really its not but they continue to give shitty advice. bahaha that kinda makes me chuckle because i would HATE to be a part of that persons life.

so i was trying to think of random questions today and i couldnt..so i asked the boy for some inspiration and he said: "the cow jumped over the moon". like really...a nursery rhyme is not inspiration...



unless you're me.
so what if a cow really jumped over the moon (ofcourse with a few scientific enhancements and maybe a very very springy trampoline?)....would that mean that scientists would have to make all nursery rhyme images real or that authors would have to write brand new nursery rhymes? would baby mobiles begin to get like scientific?? ooo would that make babies smarter? eh i doubt it.

and no boyfriend. green tea is not an inpiration.

Oh.

this weekend i had some girlfriend duties to fulfill. by that i mean, i spent almost all weekend with the boyfriends parents, brother, and stepsister at some baseball games. his parents are divorced and well... that makes these situations rather interesting. we try and laugh about it, but sometimes it's not too funny. Well, a baseball game with this family is never boring and i got to hear the he said she said from both the parents. it was a great experience let me tell you! Usually i really feed into their conversations because, lets be honest, i find it utterly hilarious. But this weekend, it was a little different. As i was listening to what the dad did to the mom and vice versa from each of them, i realized that even after almost 4 and half years of dating the same boy, this could happen to us. It was at that moment that i decided that i hate making decisions. Like getting married, how on earth will i ever decide if it's the right person? how do i know i'm making the right decision? i never want to put my children through what they put their children through. I don't want my poor decisions to alter their lives! now let's think about this, the decisions i make today are going to affect my unborn babies! that's so much pressure on just one person!

I guess that's why its called a decision...because you're accepting all the repercussions that you arent even aware of.

question of the day:
why did someone invent clothes that covered certain areas of our body?

Coming to Terms

So today i realize i ask alot of questions and i realize that theres a reason why i'm asking them, but i don't acknowledge that. I don't take the reason into consideration and quite frankly, on this blog, i don't even state the reason...maybe the answers to my questions will be easier to grasp if i consider my reason for questioning. Well, from now on, i'll tell you what's going on in my life and then i'll ask the question.

 Today i finished The Last Song by Nicholas Sparks. Well, it's being made into a movie and once you watch the movie, you can't read the book! it's just not the same. The book is amazing and i feel like it connects to everyone because everyone's had someone pass away in their life and it's never easy to understand or deal with. Anyways, while i'm reading the book, my mom ironically gets a phone call from our family friend and we get news that her mother-in-law has passed away due to cancer. I find it extremely ironic because that's exactly where i was in my book and then we get that phone call...and it was all really strange, but my family went to visit our family friend and spend a little time helping with whatever they needed. The next day, while on the phone with her best friend, my mom mentions to her that so and so's mother-in-law passed away and tells the story and then says yeah she passed away at 2pm and i'll never forget the words that came out of her mouth next. After listening to her best friends response, my mom said (and i'm dead serious), "yeah, so how do i get to that kitchen store?" I understand that they were probably talking about a kitchen store before my mom brought up the death but I was extremely taken back by how quickly the topic changed...and it made me think about how fast we move on and how somebody passing is hard but really its just another step in life.
Why do we have so many emotions that control our actions? Better yet, how do our emotions change so quickly? If i think about how i've reacted to different situations in my life, if i had slightly altered an emotion, i could be in a completely different place in life. That's an amazing thought. Emotions drive our personalities and basically every aspect of our lives.
Do you think that people actually embrace their emotions? whether it's in relation to death, love (which is a whole different story), happiness, joy, courage...do you think people just take the second to embrace the emotion before letting it consume our minds? Maybe i should try it...because i know i dont. My emotions consume my body faster than i can think. Maybe by embracing emotions we can control emotional reactions...actually i take that back. I think every reaction is, in some way, an emotional reaction. I need to continue to evaluate this...but i'll get back to you.

Sneak Attack

How many ways do people avoid pain everyday?
I would guess at least every minute somebody avoids a painful thought. A thought that brings back painful memories...you know how they sometimes creep up on you when you see something that reminds you of it...it being the memory ofcourse...it's like the memory is dropped into your head all of a sudden. you're hit when you're unprepared. I'm not sure how I feel about my memories sneaking up on me.
I can see it in my head...a little dark shadow sliding down a rope above my head and dropping into my mind.

Clearly, pain is something that is hard to avoid. You can't run from it because theres nowhere to run.

Pathway of Unity

If you walked in a straight line foreverrrr you'd go all the way around the world. how long do you think you could walk in a straight line before running into something...like a building or a tree? What if the world globally decided to make a straight pathway around the circumference and if you walked on that path you'd circle around the world forever...
would the path go over the ocean or under the ocean?...i'd say under...maybe like cable car type thing but a cable submarine? would that even work.

Wouldn't it be cool looking at this straight path in a outerspace?
I feel like since we're so technologically advanced, this would be possible. But considering that there have been so many people in this world, somebody's had this thought before. I wonder if they came up with a solution or proposed it? AH! What if the person before me that had this thought was somebody famous...hmm i'm thinking politically famous. somebody that could have done something to create this but didn't because they thought it was stupid... I think its an AWESOME idea. how long would it take? i'm thinking a couple of years...like 6?

i'll keep thinking about it.

p.s....every pathway would be different! because in america we use concrete to make roads and side walks, in irelend they use like stones...

ohh and i just reconsidered all of this...
you can't unify the whole world because not every country would be involved in this...

Trafficking.

Human Trafficking


Today I saw a white van pull up to a nail salon and literally herd about 30 Asian women out of the van and into the back door. Human trafficking has always been appalling to me...i never understood how people can treat other human beings like animals without having any remorse. But more importantly, do you believe that these people accept their fate and believe that being s slave is there calling in life just like we believe being a doctor or a lawyer is our calling in life?

do they believe they even have a calling in life? What do you think they think about? In my life, I think about clothes and school and my friends and my boyfriend and my family...but they're life is a lot more complicated with a lot more struggles.
I wish I could understand what runs through their minds.